Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Do You Ever?

Do you ever feel like you've missed something? Or rather, like you're looking for something or waiting for something and you haven't quite settled on it yet?

That's what I've felt like today. As if I have everything arranged there and there but over here there is something more that could be or should be. Did I glance the wrong way and miss it? Is it just around the corner? And what exactly is it?

I'm reminded of two poems: "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost and Bilbo's "The Road Goes Ever On and On" from The Lord of the Rings. It is no wonder that there is so much written about paths, though I feel as though I have only truly understood it all today. The road not taken. If you had done this one thing or talked to this one person or something so seemingly small as that, then you might have lived completely differently--not necessarily better or worse. Just differently.

And sometimes it is better. Sometimes there are things that fill our lives with so much that we only happened on seemingly accidentally.

Do you ever feel like you need something like that? A chance meeting or a chance turn in the road that leads you to think of something you had never thought of before, to do something you had never before thought to do. That's what I feel like today, like I'm as yet unformed because I'm still searching or waiting for something that I don't know what it is.

Springtime makes you feel that way, I guess, and this week has been springtime weather. There I was twirling in the snow on Christmas Eve a month ago, and now here I am moved just a little to the South, where days of January cold have given way to warm February afternoons of 74 degrees. Maybe I'm just a little in shock at the extra quick transition of the weather.

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